I waited impatiently as my physical therapist moved my foot around, pressed down on my ankle and asked me how therapy exercises were going. The question was burning the back of my throat. I needed to spit it out soon. It was the only thing that I really wanted to know from my doctor.
“Can I start running?”
“Yeah, I don’t see why not. It might hurt a little but it might also help. Just don’t fall.”
I've slowly but surely been making my way back from my injury and running again. On one hand, I’m happy, because I’m running. On the other hand . . . I am full of fear . . . because I’m running. The fear of re-injury is holding me back. Suddenly every little thing that doesn’t feel right freaks me out. I don’t know what is so different about this injury vs any other injury I’ve had this year, but this one was like a big “HELLO, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY” message.
I've spent the last almost 5 weeks not running at all due to a small tear in my peroneal tendon in my right foot. (think pain down your calf, behind your ankle and into the outside of your foot. The worst!) I know, it could be much worse. I am able to bear weight on it now and I have been given the okay to gently start incorporating impact again. No more than 10 miles a week, per doctor orders, and not all at one run (apparently that needed to be specified lol) My first time back I ran half a mile, I was terrified to go any further. A few days ago, I did 3 miles with walk breaks and it seemed a tad difficult, mostly because all I could think about was how my foot was feeling. Today, I made a little more progress. I ran 4.5 miles with minimal walk breaks. Right now I’m just trying to establish consistency, evaluate any soreness or pain, and get my legs used to running again.
Would I love to be logging more miles? Would I love to have the confidence in my body to start considering a half-marathon or even spring-marathon like most of my running friends are doing?
Yes and Yes.
Am I discouraged? Am I sad?
Honestly? Maybe a little. But probably less than you might expect. I mean, this whole not really able to run thing sucks, but I'm doing other things. I'm riding my bike, lifting some weights and using the elliptical at the gym. And I’ve caught up on so many books and movies. None of this quite compares to running, for sure. I do miss running more than a half mile at a time. I’ll take whatever I can do right now, I'm just glad to be doing it. I'll be back to more significant distance soon. In the meantime, I'll just be hanging around, trying to hold onto my endurance!
So, this happy runner is just working , recovering, reading... Enjoying my Saturday morning snuggles with my little boy since I don’t have to get up early for long runs. All good. Of course, it would be better to be running. But, I'll take what I can get :-)
Dream Big. Work Hard. :)