Imperfections. Flaws. Mistakes. Weaknesses. Doubts.
These are all part of being human. Not a single person on this earth is without these struggles. I have always been a bit of a perfectionist, and have always had a habit of being a little too hard on myself at times. But over the past few months, it has reached an unacceptable level and I am straight up calling myself out. I treat myself like crap. Yes, the things I say to/about myself on a daily basis are just cruel and how I treat myself mentally negates all of the good things I do for myself physically. I cannot imagine ever saying some of things I say to/ about myself to others, or treating others how I treat myself.
So what’s been going on? The short version is that I’ve been a little stuck. Stuck making excuses, stuck in bad habits, stuck in not being the best version of myself health-wise. I’ve felt sorry for myself and blamed my life and ailments, I’ve lacked motivation, and I’ve been more talk than action. Basically, I’ve been a victim to myself.
I have to be honest… it hurts to admit that. I’m ashamed of it. But I need to own it, accept it, and move on so I can change my situation. So there it is. Self-sabotage at its finest.
I went to a leadership seminar for work a few weeks ago, and oddly enough, even though it was for work, it really opened my eyes to my situation about my personal life. We talked a lot about loving yourself, overcoming self-limiting beliefs, and how your attitude can influence your life.
So back to that whole victim thing. Yeah, I’m sick of that. I’m sick of letting myself down. I’m tired of feeling like crap about myself. I’m done half-assing this.
I want to succeed.
I want to accomplish those goals I set.
I want to look in the mirror and be proud of myself.
I want to feel empowered and confident and happy and energized and alive.
I want to be stronger than my excuses.
I want to set a good example.
But most of all, I want to love myself fully.
I’m still on my journey. I may have taken a bit of a detour, but I’m getting back on the right path. I know what I need to succeed: consistency, support, accountability, and will power. I need to eliminate temptations and obstacles and commit to myself. I also need to think bigger – especially when it gets hard – to remember my “why” and the reason I want to achieve my health goals. That’s what motivates me. Luckily, I have a few amazing, supportive friends behind me to help me succeed.
I haven’t given anyone much of a reason to believe in me lately, but I intend to change that. I know I’m capable of it, I know I’m strong enough. I just have to overcome some obstacles…
Keep Dreaming Big.